As mentioned in Day 1's Post, I have been having some issues being happy, expressing positive emotions or having fun in general. Yesterday, I had planned a family outing with the Man and the kids. However, piece by piece it started falling apart. DD's 14 and 20 didn't want to go. Then DS12 decided that HE didn't want to go either. Great. That made me feel wonderful, right? The children who always complain that we never do anything fun bailed out on me when I forced myself to plan something I thought that would be fun for them. I admit, I was pretty discouraged.
But, I decided that I would take a deep breathe, go get my shower, shave my legs, do my hair and put on some summer clothes that matched and I thought looked pretty. 'Cause if you feel pretty then it will make you feel better, right? So, I come out and sit down to help my DS5 finish getting ready to go. Then he blew all my attempts of putting on my 'happy face' with the following interaction:
There I was, sitting in a chair wearing my pretty outfit, with my hair done and wearing summer clothes that hadn't been out of the closet since last year. This included an awesome tank top that I really like. When my Darling, Dear, Truthful Son of 5 years walks up behind me, lifts up my upper arm flab and asks "Hey Mom, why can you push this up like that?".
Let me tell you... that about did it for me. I just looked at him and said "Because I'm fat and disgusting, Dear." and went to throw my outfit away and put my baggy covers-everything pajamas back on. (yes, I really did do that)
The Man was upset because he really wanted to get out of the house, DS's 5 and 8 were freaking out because they still wanted to go. And finally they braved the threat of entering The Beast's Domain to sit on my bed and ask, "Please, can we still go, Mom?".
And so, instead of punishing the three boys who wanted to get out of the house, I got dressed again (In a pair of baggy jeans and t-shirt) and we went to the park by the lake.
Where the boys had fun and the view was amazing.
We cooked out, took pictures, the boys played on the slides and in the sprinkler.
It was a good day.
And so, something that I love about myself is that no matter what else is going on ....
I always try to make my kids happy.
Whether it is by letting them have time WITH me or WITHOUT me.
'Cause THEY are what is important to me.
And THEY are what makes me smile.
